Lawrence, Emily: I feel my heart speed up. I need to stop freaking out for no reason. It's not like there was a chance I was going to start on offense, since I don't even play offense. "Midfielders, Lauren on the right, Zeeva and Emily in the middle and Katrina on the left." Breathe. "Now defense," Coach Howard stares at her clipboard like she can't read her own handwriting or maybe she's changing her mind about who she thinks should start. "Brianna in goal," she reads off the page. "Let's go with Josie on the right, Hazel left."

I squeeze Hazel's hand. She squeezes back harder. There's only one more spot. "And last but not least," Coach Howard's eyes travel around the circle of girls, like she's searching for someone. They land on me. "Rachel, I'd like you in the middle." "Really?" I cover my mouth as soon as the word spills out. I hear someone giggle. "Really," she says. Yes, yes, yes. This is happening. I'm starting in the first scrimmage of the year. "Let's get out there and win," Coach Howard says. "Hands in." Everyone reaches into the middle of the circle. "Go Bulldogs," we shout as loud as we can.

We win the coin toss and I jog out onto the field. The ref blows the whistle and LaDon kicks off passing to Franny. She dribbles down the field and our offense owns the ball for most of the first half. No one scores, but it feels like the whole game is happening somewhere far away on the other end of the field, even though no one on defense has touched the ball, Coach Howard swaps Hazel out for Angela, right before the end of the half, which doesn't seem fair. I smile at Hazel and cross my fingers. I hope I don't get taken out before I have a chance to do something. LaDon and Franny swerve through green jerseys, passing the ball back and forth, landing where the other person needs them to be at the exact right moment. It's like they're in on a secret.

There are only a few minutes until the end of the half. A girl in green steals the ball away from Lauren outside the penalty box. She dribbles around Emily and Zeeva and heads straight toward me. Before I can think, or talk myself out of it, I'm running to get the ball from her. The green jersey tries to fake me out with a high wave, but I don't veer to the left like she wants me to. Her feet aren't fast enough to move around me and I drag the ball away from her. I look for someone to pass to. No one is open and no one is coming after me yet, so I dribble down the field. That's when I realize I'm not sure if I'm actually allowed to do this, I'm supposed to be manning the goal, but this is my chance to prove I can play offense. It might never happen again.

I keep dribbling. Out of nowhere, one of their players is in front of me. I drag the ball back and then pull it forward, going around her. Franny is open on my right and I pass it to her. She shoots it straight into the net. The whole team erupts cheering and screaming as the ref blows his whistle three times, signaling the end of the half. Franny runs over and grabs me. "Rachel," she shrieks, jumping up and down and pulling me with her. "We scored."

Hazel runs up behind us. "You got an assist," she screams, hugging me and pulling Franny in. I hug them back. The whole team crowds around us, jumping and chanting, "Bulldogs, Bulldogs, Bulldogs, Bulldogs." It's like nothing I've ever felt before. It's sunshine and whipped cream and someone calling you their best friend for the first time, only better. I feel like I'm floating.

"Brooks," Coach Howard calls. I jog over to her. She's standing by our bench, holding her clipboard. She played forward in college and she has her nose pierced, which I think is cool. She changes the ring almost every day. Today, it's a blue shimmery stud that looks pretty around her dark brown skin. "Way to hustle out there, Rachel. You're playing like a real champ." She pats me on the back. "Thanks, Coach." "We all wish she could be here for the...