Sarah has not been able to turn off what she calls “the snark box” in the months since her best friend Jamie died. Sarah was the only one present during the freak accident that killed Jamie, and her grief and guilt come out in the form of sarcasm and cutting attacks as she pushes people away. It’s affected Sarah’s relationships with everyone, from her almost-too-perfect boyfriend to Jamie’s twin brother to her own brother and parents. She’s also started to fail classes, and that’s when her parents fight back, threatening to take away things that she’s relying on, like getting her license, until she tries to pull it together. When Mr. Rowan offers Sarah a job helping cut and sell Christmas trees, she takes it against her mother’s wishes, but Sarah senses it’s just what she needs. Although her parents are truly trying, it turns out Mr. Rowan understands Sarah in a way that few people can, because he, too, has experienced the unthinkable. J. J. Johnson focuses on the very real feelings of Sarah and the people around her in a novel that deftly balances depth and humor. Johnson’s story is also distinguished by incredibly vivid moments and intense revelations that are never sensationalized. (Age 12 and older)

Just because everyone else thinks you should be over it, doesn’t mean you are

Last year, Sarah’s best friend, Jamie, died in a freak accident. Back then, everyone was sad; now they’re just ready for Sarah to get over it and move on.

But Sarah’s not ready. She can’t stop reliving what happened, struggling with guilt, questioning the meaning of life, and missing her best friend. Her grades are plummeting, her relationships are falling apart, and her normal voice seems to have been replaced with a snark box. Life just seems random: no pattern, no meaning, no rules—and no reason to bother.

In a last-ditch effort to pull it together, Sarah befriends Jamie’s twin brother, Emmett, who may be the only other person who understands what she’s lost. And when she gets a job working for the local eccentric who owns a Christmas tree farm, she finally begins to understand the threads that connect us all, the benefit of giving people a chance, and the power of love.