Jade has learned that watching the elephant cam from the nearby zoo is a great mechanism to calm her anxiety when it flares. Diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Jade is never sure when an attack will strike, and she has to work hard to keep it from consuming her life. It’s while watching the elephants on her bedroom computer that she first sees a teenage boy carrying a baby. Jade manages to meet the mystery duo, and soon finds herself falling hard for Sebastian and his young son, Bo. When she discovers that Sebastian has not been entirely truthful in his account of how he ended up as Bo’s primary caretaker, Jade must grapple with difficult decisions about what is fair and what is right, weighing her feelings and thoughts against the possibility of hurting someone she loves. While Sebastian’s backstory lacks some believability, this is more than compensated by artful observations and a moving, powerful portrayal of a teen dealing with a disabling anxiety disorder. (Age 14 and older)

I am not my illness. "Girl with Anxiety," "Trauma of the Week" -- no. I hate stuff like that. Everyone, everyone has their issue. But the one thing my illness did make me realize is how necessary it is to ignore the dangers of living in order to live. And how much trouble you can get into if you can't.Jade DeLuna is too young to die. She knows this, and yet she can't quite believe it, especially when the terrifying thoughts, loss of breath, and dizzy feelings come. Since being diagnosed with Panic Disorder, she's trying her best to stay calm, and visiting the elephants at the nearby zoo seems to help. That's why Jade keeps the live zoo webcam on in her room, and that's where she first sees the boy in the red jacket. A boy who stops to watch the elephants. A boy carrying a baby.His name is Sebastian, and he is raising his son alone. Jade is drawn into Sebastian's cozy life with his son and his activist grandmother on their Seattle houseboat, and before she knows it, she's in love. With this boy who has lived through harder times than anyone she knows. This boy with a past.Jade knows the situation is beyond complicated, but she hasn't felt this safe in a long time. She owes it all to Sebastian, her boy with the great heart. Her boy who is hiding a terrible secret. A secret that will force Jade to decide between what is right, and what feels right.Master storyteller Deb Caletti has once again created characters so real, you will be breathless with anticipation as their riveting story unfolds.