Emery Lord: Hi, my name's Emery Lord and I'm the author of the young adult novel All That's Left to Say. This story is inspired by many things. I was thinking a lot about friendship breakups and wanting to portray one of those in fiction. I was thinking about art and paintings. I was thinking about, I know this sounds like a left turn, but opioids, and that's something that's on my mind a lot, and I wanted to find a way of channeling how much time I spend thinking about, reading about, caring about that into fiction. And I was thinking about dual timelines. All of these things were really exciting and inspiring to me at the onset of working on this book.

I created Hannah around a core piece of her identity, which is that she loves to win. I don't relate to this. I don't have that same competitive drive that Hannah has externally. I can be competitive with myself, but I simply don't have it. Sometimes I wish I do. And it was so appealing to me to construct a narrator around this completely different trait that I could experience and build out around. That trait in Hannah sort of explains how she gets embroiled in trying to solve in her mind the mystery around her cousin's death because she just doesn't want to feel like she's losing. It's not the only reason, but that was kind of my starting place for creating her.

From a practical standpoint, the amount of time I was spending on the page, kind of dealing with really difficult and emotional situations for me to sort of keep myself company and hopefully thereby keep the reader company and offer a little bit of levity, but it always starts with me, was to create this sort of romantic entanglement for Hannah that has a lot of banter, that has some heft to it, I think emotionally, but is a little bit more lighthearted.

And then I also worked a couple of things into the story that were sort of meant to be pleasurable, both to me and to anyone who it sort of vibes with, which is that I used a lot of imagery based around specific colors for each character. Kind of just like a fun treasure hunt. If a reader happens to notice which color is associated with which character, you should be able to track it through the book.

But honestly, even though I was writing about really difficult stuff like grief and about substance use disorder, talking about it actually feels quite a lot like a relief to me. And sometimes writing about it feels the same way. It's so heavy on my mind so much of the time that writing about it doesn't feel like engaging with it more or less. It just feels like having an outlet to really spend time with it purposefully.

If I had a hope for All That's Left to Say, I hope that people ask questions about their place in the scope of substance use disorders same as Hannah's asking. Maybe your questions will be different than hers, but I just hope people are asking.

I will read a little bit of the prologue.

May.

Senior year.

This is my third time in the headmaster's office. Once, for a parent meeting before I officially enrolled. The essay incident, a misunderstanding of course. And now, awaiting my fate on senior prom night.

I sit facing the desk centered at a large window and framed by plaid curtains. The office doesn't have a globe, but it looks like the type that would. From somewhere I cannot see, an analog clock ticks away. I pace and inhale for four beats and hold it for the same count. My lungs ache, or maybe my heart does. It's hard to tell anymore.

Somewhere, headmaster Ryan is probably behind the wheel of her car, closing the distance between the Fairchild Hotel and her office. Cursing me maybe, though I don't know her well enough to guess. Her first name is Elizabeth. She wears a wedding band. Does she live in a sleek apartment or a big old house? Does she host wine nights or do plucky group fitness classes with friends? Has anything ever rearranged her entire life and sense of self the way this year has for me?